Aamused (aamusedinatx) wrote in note_to_cat,
Aamused
aamusedinatx
note_to_cat

Escape Artist

Dear Frankie,

Mommy does not appreciate your sudden brave escape attempts. You ARE an INDOOR KITTY. Fine, your first slip out: a great wind blew against the neighbor's wooden fence and rattled so loudly it scared you back inside. You seemed much cowed and I had HOPED that taught you what a big, wide, noisy, gusty, scary world it is out there!

But what is with the 3:30am sneak out while I am trying to let the aged dork dog pee? I do not appreciate having to turn on lights, put on pants AND shoes, and find my flashlight to come outside and hunt you down. IT WAS TWENTY TWO DEGREES! No wonder I found you huddled behind my hibiscus trying to build a fire with some dead twigs and a hair tie. Then you have the nerve to look at me like 'what took you so long to organize a search party?'

YOU are an indoor cat. you are old, spoiled, pampered, and kept at a toasty 64 degrees all winter. You have toys, a baby bruther, gushy food and a dog to torment. You do not NEED to go outside.

End of story.

And quit sucking up. Although that is quite cute.

EDITED TO ADD
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The two legged retriever of daft cats.
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